Prince Harry and Meghan Markle visited Bristol today to meet members of the public and learn everything there was to know about Bristol’s rich cultural history, except the bad bits.

The royals’ whistle-stop tour of the best of Bristol kicked off in Broadmead where their royal highnesses received a private performance from a guy hidden underneath a sparkly blanket making the wooden head of a horse-like creature shut its mouth in time to music.

Prince Harry, who was wearing a jumper and trousers, and Meghan who was wearing some women’s clothes, then went on to Bristol institution, Bedminster Asda to see the newly renovated Mcdonald’s with the touch screens, which have changed the way that Bristolians order Mcdonald’s in Bedminster forever.

“These touch screens are a real lifeline for the people of Bristol who are too high to speak to a real person, but really want to eat a burger,” the Prince said.

The 6th in line to the throne then went on an official visit to Bristol institution, Nando’s on Park Street, where astonished onlookers report that Harry ordered a lemon and herb chicken breast with creamy mash potato.

Reliable sources inside the restaurant allege that the Prince asked the server to put an ‘extra hot’ flag in his chicken to impress his beautiful wife, Meghan Markle, who was a female actor in the US TV series ‘Suits’, before becoming princess of our hearts.

The Royal Nando’s was followed by drinks at Bristol institution, Be At One on the triangle, where it is believed The Prince had a traditional Bristolian strawberry Bellini and the Duchess had a traditional Bristolian tap water.

Finally the Royal couple finished their evening with a kebab at Jason Donervan. The Prince, who was eating for one, had one doner kebab and a large chips.

“This kebab stand is a real lifeline for the people of Bristol who want to eat a kebab,” said Prince Harry.

“On behalf of all those you have saved from devastating hangovers over the years, I thank you for your service.”