New hessian bag trial could change the way we recycle forever

Stig of the dumps and eco-warriors alike can expect big changes to how their waste is handled, after Bristol City Council announced they will be trialling a revolutionary new hessian bag to aid with the recycling of un-glittered greetings cards, cardboard boxes and other cardboard items.

“Something new has come on the scene… we are looking at trialling a hessian bag for cardboard” said Kye Dudd, Bristol’s cabinet member for waste, at a council meeting last Tuesday.

If the trial is successful, it is likely that the much-beloved current system of putting stuff in different plastic cuboids will be trashed, in favour of a system which is exactly the same, but with an additional sack.

“Hessian sacks already have many practical uses in everyday life, such as storing multiple potatoes for eating, ensnaring children for sack races and obscuring the faces of elephant men. I believe, once our rigorous trail has been completed, we will find this technology is also safe to use for recycling cardboard.”

For the trial, which will run from 2 January to 31 January 2019, a cross-section of households across Bristol will be given hessian bags, along with an instruction manual, and asked to try their best. A decision on whether to roll out the new scheme across the whole city will be based on the number of fatalities recorded at the end of the trial.

If successful, the new hessian bag initiative will be the first new recycling initiative that Bristol City Council has introduced since their controversial ‘sticker’ initiative of October 2018. The sticker initiative encouraged Bristol residents to reduce waste by placing stickers on their mouths to prevent them from eating so much food (which often comes in packaging).

The sticker initiative was discontinued following multiple fatalities.

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