Customers shocked at sudden closure of Bedminster cannabis factory

Loyal customers could not contain their disappointment after a popular cannabis factory on East Street, Bedminster was closed down without warning by police officers yesterday evening.

“First we knew about it, we went to knock on the door – and there was no door” one crestfallen patron remarked.

The factory, which was considered one of the stalwarts of South Bristol’s premier shopping street, was known for producing plants of a commendable dankness and vigour.

“If providing a top quality product is a crime, then lock me up and throw away the key. My customers can’t get enough of it” the young business owner was heard to say, before leaving the premises in the back of a van with blue flashing lights on top.

This loss to the high street is the latest in a long line of high profile closures to have hit South Bristol recently. Bonmarché, Argos and the Breakfast Box on Nelson Parade, which sold cocaine with their baps, have all closed down due to tough trading conditions.

Yet there is a glimmer of hope on the horizon. Mob bosses were quick to issue a statement confirming that any displaced workers would be guaranteed jobs for life in one of their other Bristol drug factories, whether they liked it or not.

Furthermore, it is rumoured plans are already underway to redevelop the cannabis factory into a cafe/bar/theatre/opium den. The project, believed to a ‘joint’ venture with the Tobacco Factory, if true, will elevate East Street from an up and coming destination to a high and tripping balls utopia. Invest now.

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