Bristol ice cream parlour launches ‘existential angst’ flavoured gelato

Lovers of controversial frozen dairy products have cause to celebrate as Scüpz Ice Cream Emporium, famous for it’s off-piste flavours, such as horseradish, regurgitated almond and paint, has invented its newest flavour of ice cream yet!

Ennui is defined in the dictionary as: a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement. Yet this new limited-edition ‘ennui’ flavoured ice cream has much more to it than just existential angst, say its creators: 

“Our new ennui ice cream is actually a taste of societal stagnation mixed with feelings of helplessness in a world that does not recognise your existence, and it comes with a free cone.”

The reaction to the ice cream, which is priced at £18.99 a scoop, has been broadly positive.

“It tastes of reality. Like an overwhelming portion of unseasoned optimism whisked into an eternal vortex of dead end jobs, with a sprinkle of impending doom” said Alyssa Bowl, 20, a creative writing student at Falmouth University. 

“It speaks to me. I eat it and I hear: ‘you are never getting on the housing ladder, you’ll never even move out of your parent’s garage’ and the more I buy, the harder it hits me.” sobbed Manuel Fing, apprentice barista, 26.

“I don’t get it. This is just an empty cone. Why are all these kids crying in here?” said Neil Shart, 54, a retired assets manager from Portishead. 

The ice cream has been a huge hit on Instagram, due to its unique colour. It is 100% translucent, to the point where it is effectively invisible to the naked eye.

Ennui will be on sale at Scüpz Ice Cream Emporium on Gloucester Road until 31 September, when it will be replaced by their new ‘je ne sais quoi’ flavoured ice cream.

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