Despite a recent campaign to open more trampoline parks and soft play areas, the presence of non-grown-ups on Bristol’s streets has noticeably increased within the last two weeks. The causes of non-grown-ups are often complicated and numerous, however many now suspect that ‘Gromits’ may be partly responsible.
Professional educators, working closely with the non-grown up community, have observed that many non-grown ups have been travelling to Bristol with the sole purpose of acquiring Gromits, or ‘chasing the Gromit trail’.
One parent/enabler, who wished to remain anonymous, admitted that she had taken a whole space-wagon of Gromit users on a trip to Bristol to find as many Gromits as possible. “Anything to keep them quiet” she said, with little remorse.
Gromits are known to come in a variety of forms. Most have floppy ears and a waggy tail, and all have the effect of sending a non-grown-up into a dizzying, euphoric high for up to 3 seconds.
Following the high, a harsh comedown is experienced, where the Gromit-user enters a zombie-like state, which can only be lifted by another Gromit fix.
The street value of one standard Gromit is approximately 100 cool points, although some harder to find Gromits are believed to be worth up to 500 cool points on the open playground.
At the time of writing, the Council has applied for a court order for the Gromits to be moved on, however no action is expected to be taken before 2 September.