Bristol could have its own teleportation-based transport system within the next 700 years

Leaked Bristol City Council plans reveal tantalising details of a possible new mass-transit network which could be up and running and connecting all four corners of Bristol as soon as 2718.

The plans, which are only in their infancy, indicate that councillors are looking at a teleportation-based transport system, similar to the kind used in Star Trek and Star Trek The Next Generation. The draft Bristol Transport Strategy states that a Star Trek style teleportation system would offer speed and reliability above and beyond that of cars, busses and even walking.

Rather than carry passengers in a wheeled ‘vehicle’, teleportation ‘transporters’ convert passengers into an energy pattern, which is then beamed to a predetermined destination where the passengers are reconverted into matter.

Use of this transport system could cut down journey times between the city centre and Cribbs Causeway from around 40 minutes to 0.00000000003 seconds.

A Bristol City Council spokesperson said:  “A feasibility study is ongoing and will look at various options, including a teleportation system. We expect the feasibility report to be completed at the end of the next century or so, and we are very optimistic that the invention of teleportation will occur not too long after.”

The council intends to raise the £900 billion required to fund the project by attracting private investors and by increasing the maximum fine for littering to £100 million.

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